017: Nothing to Prove

Have you ever found yourself saying, “I just want to prove I can do it!”? My question is, why? Why do we feel that we have to prove things to ourselves or to other people?
That’s what I am discussing in this episode. Once I learned that I had nothing to prove, my life changed so much for the better. In this episode, I talk about why you have nothing to prove and how your worth is the same now as the day you were born.
You’ll hear why you should start to examine what you really want and how accepting yourself as you are can alleviate yourself from the burden of approval from others.
What you’ll find in this episode:
What I am currently creating
How you have nothing to prove
Why you have to be honest with yourself about your worth
Why you should ask yourself what you actually want
How realizing I had nothing to prove was one of the most amazing gifts I’ve been given
Read the transcript of the episode below:
I want to prove that I can do it. I want to prove them wrong. I just want to prove it to myself. Have you ever said any of these things? We're going to talk about it today. This is episode 17: Nothing To Prove.
Welcome to the Committed to Create Podcast. I'm Lisa Funk, and I am so excited to hang out with you here as we talk about the power of creating with our hands and our minds. I like to keep it real, remind you that you are not alone and share specific ways that creativity and mindfulness can help us live even more meaningful and joyful lives. I am so glad that you're here.
Welcome back to the podcast. Back over to my house. We're sitting on the big blue couch today. Chatting. I love doing this podcast and hanging out with you. I feel really honored that you would take the time to let me come into your ears and share some of my stories and my thoughts and just to relate to each other.
One of the main reasons why I do what I do and sharing about mental health is because I want women to know that they're not alone and that they are not weird or that, you know, nothing is wrong with them, that these are experiences that so many of us have. And I think it's really important to connect and to share so that we know we're not alone. And also to share if things have worked for us. If we've learned something that has inspired us and helped us to feel more confident and to have less stress and depression and anxiety and all those things. 
Now, of course, there are so many different facets that come into play with mental health. And I do not expect that listening to a podcast on its own will make everything better. But I do think that it can help us when we know that we're not the only ones who struggle. We're not the only ones who sometimes have a hard time getting out of bed or feeling worthwhile or having the desire to do the things that we want to do or having energy or any number of other things.
I want you to know that you are not alone. And I also am here to share things that have helped me, but I'm going to be honest. The reason why I have found a lot of things that have helped me is because I have struggled. Because I've been in those dark places and needed to find help and needed to find answers and solutions and knowledge that could free me from the beliefs that were really holding me back.
So I just want you to know that I relate to you and I love you. And I'm so glad that you're here and that we can share some ideas and talk about them. And I love when it becomes a two-way conversation. Come and comment on Instagram and have that conversation with me there. And with our other friends in the community, it's really special.
So today we're going to talk about nothing to prove. And before we get started with that, I wanted to do a segment called currently creating.
So for today's segment, I just wanted to talk about how I am currently creating. And of course I'm always lettering. We know that that is a go-to for me, it's super healing and therapeutic and special for me. And I love doing it every day. But I also wanted to talk every once in a while about other things that I'm creating, because I think it's fun to get ideas.
I believe that creativity is so helpful and so good for us. It's good for our brains. It's good for our emotions. It's really something that I've found helps my mental health and just brings a lot of joy to me. And so I wanted to share one thing that I've been doing. I do it often, but that I've been working on lately, which is our family videos.
And I love putting these together, especially when we do a trip or something special, but also for everyday life. So what I do for these family videos is I mostly take short clips, like three to five second clips for the most part, of what we're doing. And then I put them all together into a video. And so it's really like quick moving and it's not something that you're like, oh my gosh, I can't believe we're still watching, you know, this entire soccer game or whatever.
And I think that those types of videos have their place as well, but I like to just capture moments. So I might take one clip that's like, you know, a bigger picture clip of a whole scene. And then the next clip that I take might be zoomed in on, you know, my kid's drawing or a specific detail of a place that we're visiting.
And I try to kind of mix them up so that we have some detailed shots and some motion shots, and some shots of things that are just still and mixing them all together. Is really fun. And then adding the music. So the way that I do it, I really don't have to do any editing after I go on my trip or whatever it is.
I take those really short clips and I just put them all into iMovie on my phone. I have an iPhone and the iMovie app is on there and I just put them all into iMovie and I don't have to edit anything because I've already just taken really short clips. I didn't take long clips and expect that later on, I would shorten them.
I just took the short clips and so I can just put them all in there. And then I just add the music. So that's the fun part. And I often try to pick music that goes along with the location. So I was doing a video of being in England last summer, and I got a bunch of, you know, Beatles music and different things that were fun for the area that we were at.
Then of course I go through and edit the sound. So if I want to be able to hear some of the voices in some of the video clips, you know, all, you know, splice the music, split the music track and lower the music during those sections so that I can hear what's being said in some of the videos. And then I just let the music go for the rest of it.
And it's so much fun. This is a version of creativity that pays major dividends. My family loves watching them. I love watching them. Of course. I love looking through all the pictures too, but I have found that my kids and I are so much more likely to review and relive past trips and stuff when we have these really fun videos to do. So, it's a fun, creative outlet that is really a treasure for our family. 
It's really a lot easier than I thought it would be. And they come together really quickly because of the way that I take the videos in the first place. So that's just another idea of creating that could be really fun for you. And that is our segment today for currently creating.
All right. So today is episode 17 and our topic is nothing to prove. So have you ever found yourself saying things like, I just want to prove that I can do it, or I just want to prove them wrong, or I want to prove that I'm more than just a fill in the blank. And my question to you is. Why, why do we want to prove these things to other people or even to ourselves?
So to prove in the dictionary means to demonstrate the truth or existence of something by evidence or argument. So if we're trying to prove the evidence or show that something is true, what is it that we're trying to prove?  I know that that's a really common phrase that people will say, what are you trying to prove?
And the answer to that is normally something like, well, I'm just trying to prove that I can do it and that I am capable. But the real answer to that question I'm going to argue is probably something like, I want to prove that I'm worthwhile. I want to prove that I matter. I think that we want to show that we can be successful, that we can offer something. We want to feel important. And like I said, worthwhile. 
I know that so much of the time when I feel like I want to prove something to people it's really that I am trying to prove my worth. And it's kind of one of those things that's kind of embarrassing to admit. No one wants to say, oh yeah, I'm just trying to prove my worth.
I'm just over here trying to prove that I'm worthy of being loved and that I'm valuable and important. Like that is not what we consciously think that, and that's not something that's really fun to admit, but that's why I'm here doing this podcast because I am willing to admit all of those things. 
I'm willing to admit that when I have said, well, I just want to prove it to myself, and I just want to prove it to whoever, it's because I was trying to prove my worth. I was trying to prove that I was worth something that I was worthwhile. Well, this is where I'm going to come in and give you a little spoiler. Your worth is unchangeable. You are just as valuable today as the day that you were born and nothing can change that.
Proving something to someone else or to yourself cannot ever change how important you are. That is the best news ever. If we can be honest with ourselves and knowing that we really do kind of feel this need to fill expectations and to prove that we can do things. If we were honest with ourselves, that it was actually trying to prove our worth, then we could let it go because we could know that our worth is unchangeable and that there's nothing we can do to increase it or to decrease it, that we all have the same worth and that we've had it our entire lives. And that there's nothing that can happen that will change it. 
So then the question is, so what if you knew that, what if you really believed that you really internalized that worth, that you have, that you really believed that you were valuable right now just as you are, and that there's nothing that you could do or accomplish or prove to change that what would you do then? 
What would you do with your life if you felt like you didn't have anything to prove you didn't have any boxes to check, to show people that you matter that you're capable or worthwhile? 
For me, when I feel really centered in my self worth, when I really dig deep and feel it and believe it, I feel really calm. And it's a very different feeling from the feeling of trying to prove your worth, trying to prove something to other people. When I feel that way, I kind of feel anxious. I kind of feel rushed. I feel like I've got to show that I can, you know, run the marathon or make the money or get the accolades, whatever it is for you in your life. When I feel that way, I don't feel good. I feel anxious and antsy and like, I need it to happen.
Because I need to prove something to myself and to other people. I need to prove that I can be successful, but when I feel really centered in myself worth knowing that it's unchangeable and that it's constant, I feel so calm and I feel so secure. That I don't have anything to prove to anyone. 
So when I feel that way, I don't feel so anxious about needing to check these boxes and accomplish these things and prove things to other people. Then you ask yourself, what do you want to do with your life? 
Now I've got to say, there are times when I got a lot more done, because I thought that I needed to prove my worth. So I would like furiously be trying to push the boundaries and accomplish more and outdo myself and do all these things. And then I realized that I am already as valuable as I'm ever going to be.
But knowing this doesn't mean that you don't do anything. Some people think that once you know that you can't really increase your worth, that you'll just say, well, then why would I worry about anything? Why would I try to accomplish anything? Why would I push myself and grow and progress? Why would I care?
But I can promise you that knowing that your value can't change is so liberating and it's not going to make you complacent and lazy and just wanting to lay around all day. I find that it's quite the opposite. That I decide what I want to do, not from a frantic place of trying to gain respect and admiration and approval from others, but from a place of really feeling like I want to do what I feel called to do, because it's meaningful to me and it's fulfilling. And it's fun because like I said, when we have that feeling, that urge to prove something, it feels like we're kind of lacking that we're not enough that we need to accomplish this thing in order to fill that not enoughness, to fill that void, a feeling like we don't matter. We're not important. We're not successful. We feel anxious and unsettled and rushed. We can't check those boxes fast enough. We can't get to the finish line fast enough. We can't. It's just like, we want to go and go and go and push and show and prove.
But I just want to offer you that I really believe that that is coming from a place of just not understanding our innate worth and that it is unchangeable. And I promise you that. 
So once you really believe that and, and internalize that you can breathe, you can breathe and you can be calm. It is like the biggest relief of all time.
So then when you're coming from that place of calm and of knowing your self-worth and really internalizing it and believing it, then you get to ask yourself, what do you love doing? Just for the sake of doing it, not because accomplishing it is going to make you more successful, more important, more respected.
Do you have a checklist of things that you have felt you needed to accomplish to prove that you're worth something? 
This might be different for all of us, but some examples are things like. We need to have a perfectly decorated and organized house, or we need to make sure that we have kids that behave perfectly. Oh, if only that was actually even an option of having control over! We might feel like we need to check things off for our career or for our hobbies or for our spirituality. It might even just be a feeling of wanting to be quote, unquote, on top of things. It might be something to do with exercise, maybe running a marathon or accomplishing another physical fitness goal.
It might have something to do with your body image and what you believe that you need to accomplish or what you need to look like in order to be respected and admired and valued. There are so many external forces telling us that we need to earn our worth through doing all of these things through checking all of these boxes.
That you need to have the money and the body and the house and the perfect kids and the career and the organization and all of the things that we believe we're supposed to have to check off all the things we're supposed to be and do and accomplish in order to be whole in order to be enough. 
And as cliche as it is because people, you know, talk about things a lot when they have these realizations, so you hear people talking about being enough and that we are enough and that we're whole and valuable just as we are. That's because it's something that we've been taught. We need to accomplish that we need to earn. Brenee Brown talks about how we try to hustle for our worth, but it just doesn't work that way because us succeeding or failing, isn't going to change how valuable or special we are.
Your worth was set at birth. There is nothing you can do to change it. You are amazing and you have nothing to prove. So now, now that you have nothing to prove, you get to decide what you enjoy and how you want to live your life. But you get to do that from a place of fullness and abundance from a place of knowing that you already are amazing.
So it's like, okay, well, if I don't have to check all these boxes, I have all these boxes that I've been taught I need to check my whole life that I need to have all these things to make it. To feel successful in life, but if I already am amazing and valuable and worthy, then what do I want to do now? Then you get to the point where the thing is that you decide to do, or because you actually enjoy them, you enjoy the process of doing them, or you have really meaningful reasons of why you want to do it, but it isn't just to check a box. It isn't just to prove something to someone. 
Okay. So if you say, well, I want to do a marathon because I want to prove that I can do it. It's like, okay. Proving is often looking for approval. So am I looking for approval for myself? Am I looking for approval from someone else? And can I replace saying that with just saying, I just want to do it and maybe you can even say I love pushing myself.
But I think it's helpful for us to just start being aware of when we say things like, I want to prove it to them. I want to prove them wrong. I want to prove that I can do this. Because I believe that oftentimes when we say that we really mean that we believe we need to prove our worth. 
Now, when I really truly internalize this, it felt like I was learning something new. Even though my whole life, I had been taught that I was special and that God loved me and that he would always love me no matter what, I still felt like I needed to accomplish things in order to be respected and loved. And when I really internalized this, it was the most amazing gift that I have ever been given because then I felt like I could truly live my life without these expectations, without needing to check off the boxes and accomplish the things quickly and faster and better than other people, or then even myself, I don't even have to prove anything to myself. I already know that I am amazing and that I'm worthy and that I, and have my own approval. 
So then I look at what do I enjoy doing? What do I feel called to do? It might look different than the check boxes. It might look different than someone around me, but I'm going to do what I want to do. And what is meaningful and fun and special for me. What brings love into my life and what helps me to feel like I am following my mission and what I feel called to do not because I need to show anyone that I am successful and you know, that I can do all these amazing things, but because it's something that is fulfilling to me because it's something that is serving others and that's helping people and helping my family and helping myself.
So as I often do in these episodes, I talk about our thoughts and how they really frame our perspective and how we feel in our lives. So the old thoughts for me would be things like, I just want to prove that I can do it. I want to prove them wrong. I want to prove that I'm more than just filling the blank. I want to just prove it to myself. 
Those are all things that I used to think that caused me to feel anxious and incomplete and feel the need for accomplishment in order to be worth something. 
Now that I really believe that I already am worth something, no matter what, I have new thoughts that I choose to think. You can call these affirmations. You can call them thoughts. You can talk about it as the story that you tell yourself, but it is what is going to change the perspective that you have and the feelings that you feel. 
And these are some of the thoughts that work for me. One is I have nothing to prove. When I remind myself of this. I just feel so liberated because I'm still human. There's still may come a time when I think, Ooh, I wonder if I could do this faster or I wonder if I could do this better or I wonder if I should be accomplishing this or that. And I have to remind myself I have nothing to prove to myself or to anyone else.
Another thought that really helps me is my worth was set at birth. So little rhyme there for you kind of cheesy, we just do cheesy on this show. Okay. This is what we do. Because it works. Reminding ourselves that we are valuable no matter what, and that we can never increase or decrease that value. 
And so the next thought that I choose is I am as valuable as I will ever be. And when you first hear that, you might think that sounds kind of sad. Like I wish I could be more valuable, but the value doesn't change. And so if I know, like I can't accomplish anything that's going to change it. I can't achieve some incredible goal that's going to change my value. Then I feel calm. I feel whole, and I feel excited because then I can decide what I want to do, instead of what I feel like I need to do in order to be amazing. 
So I hope that with this episode, you will take some time to evaluate what are the check boxes that you have in your life that you feel like you need to accomplish in order to meet some arbitrary goals. To get to a point where you feel like, okay, I actually am worth something because I did all of these things. So evaluate those checkboxes, and then remind yourself that accomplishing those things will not change your worth and that you can do those things if you want to. And that you can make a decision of what you're going to do based on something that's important to you, something that you enjoy doing, something that you feel called to do, but not from a place trying to prove something.
Anytime we get into that mind space of trying to prove something. That's a little indication. It's a little red flag that we're probably feeling like we need to earn our worth. And that is impossible. 
So I hope you will take some time to evaluate what the expectations are that you've put on yourself and to free yourself from them, knowing that you don't need to accomplish all of those things to meet your goal, to earn your worth.
That's impossible. Okay? I have found so much liberation in my life from internalizing this and from being aware of when I'm feeling that desire to, you know, go bigger, go better, go, you know, make someone impressed, or I don't know, or prove something. Anytime we're trying to impress someone or have some really amazing accomplishment that people will really be proud of or impressed by, it's just a little clue that we might be trying to earn our worth again, like I said, no one wants to admit that no one wants to say, yeah, I actually have a big problem with that, but we all do it. So let's just be honest with ourselves about it so that we can free ourselves from that belief. That is not true. And that's holding us back. 
I am so glad that you guys are here. I'm so glad that you joined me here on the podcast. It really means so much to me. I would love it if you would come over to Instagram and share your thoughts, I always post something about the podcast and I love it when you come to the comments and tell me your ideas, or if it meant something to you, and as always, if you leave a review, It really helps other people to find the podcast and helps me know what you are liking and loving that we should continue doing here. 
And as always, if you're interested in doing some lettering, I highly recommend trying out the Guide to Mindful Lettering. It includes over 50 affirmations and a lot of them are about centering yourself worth. So if this is something that you have noticed you struggle with, or if you have someone in your life that struggles, using lettering as a way to help affirm these ideas and to believe these thoughts is so helpful.
It's the reason why lettering really changed my life because by lettering quotes and affirmations and thoughts over and over again, that helps me to really internalize them and believe them in my mind and my heart and my life. And I hope that it can do that for you too. So I will link to that in the show notes.
If you're interested in the Guide to Mindful Lettering, it is a really therapeutic and healing, creative practice that I hope everyone will try. Thanks again for being here and I will talk to you next week.
Links:
Guide to Mindful Lettering
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I hope that my podcast has left you feeling inspired and excited to create the life that you want. If you’ve enjoyed listening to this podcast, I’d love for you to subscribe so you can continue to hear more. Want to get to know me better? Connect with me on my website or on Instagram to keep up with everything that is going on with me and my business.
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Jennifer L. IN LOVE!! What a perfect idea! I am a plant mama too, like Lisa. I also manage a great deal of anxiety. I got into lettering a couple years ago as a creative outlet and discovered a multitude of treasures in the lettering community! This book that Lisa created with her daughter is just perfection! It's all the feels for me! Thank you both!!!
Cinthanie C. EXCELLENT BOOK! I really enjoy taking a minute each day to slow down and apply my hand to something that is not only emotionally supportive but relaxing and fun to do!! The mantras for everyday are very helpful for me. Thank you for your work and bringing such a high quality product into my life!
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017: Nothing to Prove

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