037: Accepting Our Humanity

Accepting our own humanity isn’t easy, but for me, it’s been critical in my own journey of navigating depression.

In this episode, I get real and raw about my story of accepting my humanity. I know a lot of times, we can get caught up in the idea of there being a silver bullet that will make all of our problems go away.

I explain my thoughts on why this isn’t necessarily the case and how you can begin to show yourself more love, grace and compassion by accepting your flaws and what makes you human!

What you’ll find in this episode:

A segment on what I’m currently creating
Why it’s so tempting to crave a silver bullet to “fix” our problems
How learning to embrace your humanity will help you
Why you need to give yourself love and compassion

Read the transcript of the episode below:

 Ep 37 Accepting Our Humanity

If you're anything like me, and I think that you are, we're pretty good at being hard on ourselves. And that includes believing that we should always be able to use the tools that we've learned perfectly. This is episode 37, accepting our humanity.

Welcome to the Committed to Create Podcast. I'm Lisa Funk and I am so excited to hang out with you here as we talk about the power of creating with our hands and our minds. I like to keep it real, remind you that you are not alone and share specific ways that creativity and mindfulness can help us live even more meaningful and joyful lives.

I am so glad that you're here.

Hello and welcome back to the podcast and my big blue couch. My daughter was actually listening to my podcast. It, like, was the best moment ever. And she loved hearing me talk about our big blue couch, because I just wish all of you could come over and hang out. We have some really great chats on that couch and I hope many more to come. It is pretty beat up, but I think I've said before, I might just have to get a new blue couch if I ever have to replace it!

Anyway, before we start today's main topic, I want to do a segment called Currently Creating.

All right. So I know I did the segment last week, but I got to do it again because I'm just too excited about what I am currently creating, which is a new book. It's a new edition of the Daily Mindful Lettering book. I am so incredibly excited about it. I have been getting lots of input from all of you via Instagram and polls and surveys.

You helped me pick the topic as well as contributing to a lot of the ideas for the book and whether or not to choose different styles of lettering then the first Daily Mindful Lettering book. And I just love your tips and advice, and I'm incorporating all of that into the next book, which hopefully will be ready, I don't have a date yet, but once I do, I will tell you of course, and it's going to be awesome.

So anyway, what I decided to do in order to really get this book off of the ground, out of my head and into my hands was to dedicate a weekend to just focusing on starting and creating this book. And so I got to go to Scottsdale for the weekend and stay at a hotel.

Scottsdale is not far from me here in Arizona, and stay at a hotel and just create. And you know me, I'm always talking about finding a few minutes here and there, and that, that makes such a huge difference and it totally does. Also, when you have a chance to have a longer stretch of time, when I get two hours or three hours or four hours or whatever where I can work on a big project, man, it feels good.

So I don't know. I know not everybody's at a point or a place where they have the support to be able to do something like that. But I am just proud of myself that I have gotten to the point where I really am okay to prioritize that. I'm okay to ask for that and to take it and enjoy it.

In the past, I would have felt guilty for taking time for myself or on my own. And I just didn't feel guilty this time. And that's a big step for me because I used to just always feel like, oh, I should get back. Or, and I should, you know, like even when you're running an errand, like you run to the store or you run to the doctor or something and, you know, whoever, like for me, I have kids, so I have somebody with my kids. Maybe it's my husband. Maybe it's the babysitter. Maybe it's my mom. And in general, I just have this feeling when I'm done with whatever appointment I have, okay. I should get right home.

And of course, if someone else is watching your kids for you, then, you know, that might be important, but a lot of times, you know, my husband's there with the kids and, you know, he's their parent too, and he's an amazing parent and he's super involved.

And yet still, I kind of always had this just feeling like, oh, I should get back. There's that "should." Well, anytime that shows up, we know maybe that's not the best phrase or the best thought to have. And I'm trying to just relax a little bit and enjoy. I mean, even if my husband were to tell me, hey, go out, have fun, go shopping or whatever. I still have a hard time really enjoying it sometimes.

So I'm working on it. And this weekend I did a really good job of enjoying my time alone to create, and I got so much done. I was so proud of myself and so excited. And I must say that my hand was cramping a little bit with all the lettering, but you know, in these books that I create, I hand letter every single thing that's lettering. I don't use fonts. I don't use anything like that. It is always done by hand. And so each time there's a letter, it's going to be a little bit different because I'm writing them new each time. And I love that about it.

So anyway, I can't wait to get this into your hands and I just had to share what I am currently creating.

All right now, we are going to get into the meat of this episode, which is talking about accepting our humanity. Now, a lot of us struggle with perfectionism, let's say, or wanting to do things, quote unquote, right. Or learning the correct way, and then wanting to just continue doing things the correct way.

And it's interesting because as we try to kind of let go of negative self-talk or impossible expectations that we have for ourselves, we start learning tools, tools about maybe thought work or allowing emotion or different things like that. And we just think this is the way. This is better.

But what's funny is that we can just transfer our expectations, instead of expecting, to always perform perfectly in some aspect of our lives, now we're expecting ourselves to use these self-help tools perfectly.

And we expect that if we know something or have learned something that we should internalize it and never struggle with it again. We just want to get to the other side. We want to be, let's say healed. A hundred percent.

So I'm going to be using the example of my mental health for this episode and especially my depression.

So I can very much relate to wanting to be healed from that a hundred percent. And just so focused on that, just wanting to get to that point where I never struggle with it again, like what do I have to do? What lengths do I have to go to? How much work do I have to put in? Anything. I will do it. The goal is to be done and healed and move on.

You know, that's just always been what I've hoped for whether or not I have voiced that or verbalize that, deep down, oh yeah, for sure, that's what I want. And I'm not saying that it's wrong to not want to deal with depression.

It's not like we should say the opposite. Like I love feeling depressed. This is amazing. No. The definition of it is that it's really hard and sad and horrible. So that is not what I'm saying, but this can also apply to anything else that you might struggle with. Might be depression, might be anxiety, might be some other thing that you want to improve in yourself or habit or anything. Fill in the blank for yourself.

Think about the thing that you work on when you think about your own self-development or challenges that you have in your life.

So I'm going to tell a little story that happened, oh gosh, I want to say like, five years ago, maybe seven years ago. I don't, I don't have an exact date for you, but I was at church and this amazing woman was in front giving a talk and she was sharing this amazing story of how she had struggled with depression.

And then she prayed and I don't know, she did something else. And I can't remember the specifics of what exactly led to her healing, but then she shared that she had been healed. And whether it was kind of miraculous for her, or, I mean, it's miraculous, no matter how it happens, but I don't know if it involved therapy or medication or other things.

But the gist of it was that she was healed and that she had never dealt with it ever again. And it had been many, many, many, many years. And I listened to her share that and I wanted to be so happy for her. And I was, because, hello, I don't want anyone in the world to suffer from something that's so dark and hard as depression. But at the same time, I mean, I probably was depressed at the time, let's be honest, for me to kind of sink into this and feel this way, I just felt so defeated and so discouraged. Because I had worked so hard to manage my depression, to be healed from it, to be done with it. And it just came back. It would come back.

It would go away, you know, I'd work on it or try something and it would go away for a while. And I would think, oh my gosh, I think I figured it out. I think it's just the supplements. I think that's all I have to do. Or I think that, you know, this medication is going to be it. Always in forever, or I think it's completely therapy or completely life coaching, you know?

And I've always known that it's a combination of so many different factors, environmental factors, then physiological factors and psychological factors. There's so much that goes in to your mental health and your overall wellbeing. And I knew that, but it was tempting to want the silver bullet. To believe that there's one thing. If I start exercising every day, this is going to go away and I'm never going to deal with this again. Or if I start doing this one vitamin taking this one vitamin, that's going to be it.

And I'm not just saying that I've tried every single thing. I haven't. But what I have found is that for me, there, isn't a silver bullet. And, it's okay.

I used to want to believe that if I had more faith, if I tried harder, if I prayed harder, if I did some crazy extreme thing, that that might be it. And again, this might happen for some people. And I know I'm at a point where I can genuinely be very, very happy for you because I'm not in a depressed place right now.

And to be honest, I haven't, you know, suffered to the degree that I used to in a long time. But waves of anxiety or depression still come up for me from time to time.

And of course I would love to get on here and say, I'm done. I've never struggled again. And let me tell you, I've got this magic silver bullet for you. Just do this and you'll be fine forever. But that isn't the case for a lot of us and believing that if we just tried harder and believed, or, you know, did something perfectly that we would be done with it and not have to struggle anymore, for me believing that made things worse for me. Because I put it on myself thinking that I was not doing something as well as I should.

And I would start to spiral. Honestly, when I would start to feel depressed, my resistance to feeling depressed was almost worse than just experiencing the depression because I would fight against it and just, I would always say, oh my gosh, but I've just worked so hard. I've worked so hard. I've invested so much time and energy and intellect and you know, everything that I could into figuring out how to get better. And so when I would start to feel bad again, it was like, oh no, not this again. Like we can't go down this road. This is horrible.

This can also happen when we are trying to get over some other habit that we might have. Maybe comparing ourselves to other people.

So I just was having a conversation with a friend today about comparing and, you know, trying to reach certain benchmarks and knowing that those things don't really matter, intellectually, we can understand that it doesn't help to compare to other people or to worry our heads off, but it turns out we're still human.

Even if you understand so many tools of how to do thought work and how to work through these things and that you shouldn't care about what other people think, even when you know it all, it doesn't mean that you're never going to struggle with those things again. And that is where we can embrace our humanity. And remember that we are not robots.

Now, does this mean that we stop trying to feel better because we know that, you know, likely we will experience some of these feelings again? No, of course. Because it does get better.

I cannot tell you how far I have come with negative self-talk, for example. Man, I used to be so mean to myself. I used to beat myself up all the time. I didn't even know I was doing it. I wasn't aware that I had this kind of inner critic or ego or whatever you want to call it. The mean girl, the inner mean girl, that was just so rude.

You know, she was just always telling me that there was something wrong with me. And why couldn't I handle life the way everyone else did. And why was I feeling so emotional? Or why couldn't I accomplish things or create habits the way other people could? I mean, you name it, anything that I was doing, that inner mean girl would come at me and find a way to try to tear me down. And it just felt so normal. It just felt so familiar and it was just how I operated.

And at the time I wasn't aware exactly that it was happening, but had you talked to me about it, I might've used said, well, I want to improve. I want to become better, and so I have to push myself. Yeah. That's not the way to push yourself.

That did not serve me. It didn't help. It caused so many problems. So I've learned a ton about being aware of my inner thoughts and the way that I think about things. And so sometimes, for people, it can be tempting to believe that, well, now I know that why do I keep slipping back? Or why does this come up for me again?

Because we are human. We're never going to learn something and just never struggle with it again and be perfect at it right away. I mean, there may be some concepts that we kind of, you know, flip a switch on, but in general, we're not going to ever become robots who don't make mistakes, who don't falter, who don't struggle.

That just isn't the plan. That isn't who we're meant to be and how we're meant to experience the world.

And I do believe that when we do learn new skills, it's amazing and we are moving up the ladder. Sometimes we go up and then back a little bit, and up, but in general, I do believe that when we're learning and growing, we are making progress forward, even if sometimes it's two steps forward one step back and onward. Because it does take time and we just can have so much compassion for ourselves.

So I think it's really interesting to just kind of think about how we want to be at the end. We want to have overcome, we want to be healed. We want to not be struggling with the thing anymore. And can we identify new ways that we're expecting ourselves to be perfect? Or to not make mistakes? And how can we embrace our humanity in ourselves and other people around us?

It's so common for those of us who are kind of hard on ourselves to maybe be hard on other people, but we're mostly going to be the hardest on ourselves.

I find that when I am able to really embrace my humanity and be compassionate with myself that I am able to do that with other people so much easier, because I am in that mode. That is the lens I am trying to see the world through.

So it doesn't matter that, yeah, I became a certified life coach and learned all these tools and it's amazing. But does that mean that I still don't benefit from coaching or from learning? Does that mean that I don't ever slip into things that don't serve me? Uh, no. And anyone who tells you that they don't is selling you lies. I know that might seem like kind of a bold claim to make, but I would much rather learn from someone who can be honest about the human experience.

And of course, I would love to learn from someone who has made major progress in an area and who has learned incredible tools, but anyone who claims to have it completely figured out, is not telling the truth. We're just all human. Unless somehow they've turned into a robot, you know, like Rosie, the robot from the Jetsons.

I was just talking with my daughter. She really wanted to know all of the cartoons that we watched growing up because, you know, they're smart enough to bring a lot of them back. And it was kind of fun to walk down memory lane and think about the Jetsons and some of the other cartoons that we watched. And now we're living in the future.

We don't have Rosie the robot doing our laundry for us, but every time I use FaceTime on my phone I'm just like, oh my gosh, we are living in the future. It's so incredible.

And I think that sometimes because we have advanced in so much of our technology and what we have to work with, we somehow expect ourselves to also have turned into robots that will get things right every time.

And I just find that I am so much happier when I can apply this empathy and compassion for myself throughout all of the human experience. So that means that yeah, sometimes I'm going to get my feelings hurt, even though I believe that I am ultimately responsible for my feelings. Because I'm human.

And I'm also going to get frustrated when certain things happen because I'm human and that's okay.

The goal for me is to embrace that humanity. It isn't to never care. It isn't to not get emotional, to not get upset. I want to be human. I want to allow myself to be human and I'm not trying to manipulate every single thought I have so that I, you know, don't feel negativity. That's not possible. It's not the goal for me.

And I'm so much happier, I think, because of that. And let me tell you, it's exhausting if you're trying to control every single emotion and thought that you're having.

So I want you to just start paying attention to when you might be hard on yourself for expecting perfection because you have learned something. And maybe you have learned it many times.

So if you find yourself saying something like, oh my gosh, I should have learned this by now, or I should know better, or I thought we were past this. Remind yourself, I am embracing my humanity. I am human. I am never going to be completely perfect, robotic, on the other side where I don't struggle anymore, that's just not, what's going to happen.

And it's okay. We've got to stop expecting that we're going to be done a hundred percent. That we're going to learn how to not get frustrated with our kids. And then, oh boy, here we go again. It's not something that we can just intellectually learn or hear one time and then never struggle again, no matter how much we learn it, it's very possible that it's something we could continue to have come up for us. And that's O K.

So this is just a little friendly reminder to show yourself some love, some compassion and treat yourself the way that you treat other people.

I don't expect everyone to, you know, have everything figured out the first time they learn it. And we can't expect that of ourselves either.

And of course this plays into any and all creative outlets, hobbies, endeavors, including lettering. When you're trying to do this and you expect it to be perfect right away, or you learn how you're supposed to do it and then you expect that you'll never falter that you'll never have shaky strokes again, or that you'll always know exactly how to flourish, that's just silly. That's not the point. Give yourself some grace and enjoy the process. Let it be messy.

And I do believe that when we, you know, kind of use something like lettering or another creative outlet, when we use that as a way to teach ourselves to show more compassion, or as an opportunity to show more compassion to ourselves, and embrace, you know, that humanity, that imperfection, it does translate into other parts of our lives.

I believe that. So when I, kind of, allow myself to be imperfect in one area, like lettering or learning something else, it translates into allowing myself to be imperfect and other ways. And it's so liberating. It's so liberating. It's the best.

So anyway, I'm so glad that you're here. If you want to try lettering, definitely check out our bundles on our website. We include the workbook and tracing paper and pens, all the things that you need to get started. Plus video tutorials, it's the best and so much fun. I'm not biased at all.

Okay. Thank you. Also for your podcast reviews. I read every single one and they just make my day. So I really appreciate it. And when you share the podcast with other people, it's just so awesome.

I hope you have a great day, a great week. And I can't wait to talk to you again soon.

Links:

Daily Mindful Lettering Book
Guide to Mindful Lettering Bundle
Creative Lettering Journal Bundle

Ready for a fun activity to feel less stress? Come get our FREE Guide - 5 Creative Steps to Less Stress & More Joy while it's still available: http://CommittedtoCreate.com/lessstress

I hope that my podcast has left you feeling inspired and excited to create the life that you want. If you’ve enjoyed listening to this podcast, I’d love for you to subscribe so you can continue to hear more. Want to get to know me better? Connect with me on my website or on Instagram to keep up with everything that is going on with me and my business.

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Jennifer L. IN LOVE!! What a perfect idea! I am a plant mama too, like Lisa. I also manage a great deal of anxiety. I got into lettering a couple years ago as a creative outlet and discovered a multitude of treasures in the lettering community! This book that Lisa created with her daughter is just perfection! It's all the feels for me! Thank you both!!!
Cinthanie C. EXCELLENT BOOK! I really enjoy taking a minute each day to slow down and apply my hand to something that is not only emotionally supportive but relaxing and fun to do!! The mantras for everyday are very helpful for me. Thank you for your work and bringing such a high quality product into my life!

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037: Accepting Our Humanity

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